31 January 2006
:+:When will I stop worrying:+:
So you're back guy, hopefully has been a fun trip down there. Didn't I remind you to take great care how come you're sick once more? So when will I stop worrying about you?
Need any help just drop me sms/ or a call and I'll be there. In two minds, to go or not to go granny house. Is late yea?
Tym to mug
:+: Still online, thoughts...:+:
Temptation of not wanting to go school tomorrow, cuz is a Wednesday? I'm still exhausted after such a long break at home. But exam is in one month time? And CA is like in 2 weeks time? Everything's so near and I'm suffocating...
So guy, you read all my entries? Doubt so, anyway... don't bother to. Cuz 98% are all my craps and me. Hmm, thanks for tagging anyway, anything don't hesitate to gib mii a call. Rest well and pay you gonna be healthy once and forever?
Nice blog skin done by krissy? Don't forget to gif her a credit cuz realli lots of friends say is nicely done? Yea... thanks friends...
Oh is me here at 11:31PM again to update not going to school tomorrow but shopping with Hau's at Orchard? Yea... so wait for moii update yea?
Nighty
I hope I'll luv myself more
18:15
:+:Moii quick update:+:
So have been slacking for like 6hours since wake up? Is time to do something before dad's back home. Clearing the mess in the dining table and start mugging.
Finally gotten a new blogskin, out of 4000+ I only find this that's more feminie and more "classic" to me? Kkx, whatever it's... I just wanted to forget the past and everything gonna afresh from 010206? Yea... a NY resolution. Dear, hopefully I do it?
Yea... so past entries has been too long winded? Stop here then...
But I can't... gonna sae there's this nutty wealthy guy who said gonna buy me a new HP in WLNY?!! Cuz I actually lied that I lost my phone just to save myself from leaking out my number to strangerS. My goodness, he's real nut arh? Btw, he's the mama-shop aunty sons... if gonna let his mom know, she's gonna kill him.
:+:Moii quick heartbeat:+:
I shall not deny that I haven't been keeping my promise [Slapping myself if I'm gonna touch CNY cookies again!!!], sigh... so just finish exercising and I'm sweat all over? But much more cooling now right infront of the fan. *Winks...
Thought of changing a new blog skin before he's back from thai, cuz everything gonna starts afresh? Yea... but gonna see how first... if I manage to haunt for a new and nice blogskin.
Now I'm gonna swear I'm gonna stop eating all those cookies on the coffeetable outside the living room, if not I shall become a pig in 1 day time! So tomorrow gonna be guai guai waiting for daddy to call and buy me dinner. Or cook maggie mee jux maggie mee for the whole day, I shall not complaint. And same for the whole week, till mom gonna come back to cook me some healthy and unappealing dishes... so that I'd just yawn and say: "Mummy I'm full, no appetite this evening, thanks for the dinner. Save it up for yourself. =)" Oh dear, I must have eaten something wrong if I'm gonna say that to mom.
Stop all the craps, daddy gonna be back, so gonna rest early now and gonna wake up tomorrow with all the housework done. And of cuz all my books around the dining table... OMG!!!
Oh yar, before I forget... just some update about WLNY. Got to know couple of friends there, and some are simply so realistic that I couldn't stand at all? And some are so damn e nice? But I just couldn't figure out, was it a fault to care for a stranger? And how could it be possible for him to fall for me just 2 chat in msn? My goodness, I shall not sign in using that account any more, but I'm dreadfully bored at home, just wanting to find someone to chat only? Haix... whatever it's.
And guess I'm getting old, here it's... it reminds me of him saying that I really got lots of guys friend, making him so jealous and he even said KNN in our conversation. Haa... how life's gonna change when you're back. Wondering have meow meow been fine with your neighbour? Thought of dropping by for a visit, but guess tomorrow gonna be packed? So fast, one month of 2006 gonna past once reach mid-night.
Dearies, I don't have much time to waste. I really need help in IAC, all over from the beginning should I request for a private tuition, will he gonna be nuts? Girl, is time to wake up, stop slacking!!! Time to mug... remember scholarship? Yea... be motivated by 1.2k hao ma? Kkx... that's really about all.
Good night... nighty...
I hope I'll luv myself more
02:09
30 January 2006
Gosh, I jux couldn't imagine that I've been online since I woke up till now [going to slp] le still online? Dear my goodness... and eating since i wake up till now also? what e hell... diet that i'm going on tml... BB... nighty... miss him... and you... kakis YY... bleahx...
So bored that I opened up chat log to read? Dead... So is has been one week since you last said you miss me. Had been into wondering again. Anyway, you once asked me to promise to miss you and drop you sms when I'm free. Can I say all these back to you? I answered back you with yes I'll so 'll you? Listening to: Misty Song - I wanna tell you I love you... So still thinking when will you be back... wanna catch a movie with you. I miss you... updated @ 7:32PM
I thought I wouldn't have anything to blog about the movie that I watch with girls yesterday. Jack Neo product has simply showed exactly how singaporean childrens turn into a baddix with the majority reason of parents busying with their work and cares only the money they are currently earning and neglect their children. Tom and Jerry both were so pitiful that they couldn't even have a time to communicate with their parents and not even have a chance to have a proper dinner... sigh.
My tears has always dropped for watching Jack's product... be it the "Pao ba hai zi", "I'm not stupid", "The best bet", and "3 good mans". So not surprisingly my tears dropped a couple of times. Here's where the flim really touched lots of audience when Cheng Cai's dad saw him was being attacked when he tries running away after someone shouted "robbery". His dad quickly went over to help him and in the end, he falls from the stairs and end up in the hospital. Misfortunately, he passed away. Jerry was found out stealing canteen aunty money just to buy tickets for his parents to come over and watch his performance on 31 August. His dad questioned him why did he steal the money and he said: "I just wanted to buy an hour of your time". Tom fixing his dad lappy and deliver it to his dad office. But his dad didn't appreciate it by saying thanks instead, he scolded him for playing his lappy. Oh My god... Shit... aniway... just here to share... is a nice flim that's worth to watch. It worth your tears and time too... trust me okay?
So girls, when are we gonna watch the 2nd time? After watching this show, I really realised that is time to do a self-reflection. Very soon, CNY gonna be over and is time for dad to undergo an operation. I'm so afraid... so afraid... does anyone know the fear in me? How's life gonna be when dad's gonna rest at home for 2months without salary? How it's gonna be? I'm worried sick. And of course, I wanna treasure him... and cherish the time that I've with him... but things has already turns out to be like this [cold war]... how good it gonna be? Sigh... I just wanted to let him know, I care for him...
Anyway, second brother went back to m'sia this morning himself. So everyone at home 's already over there celebrating CNY. Hmm, is so lonely of me to be at home alone? Well, is kinda good too, is so peaceful... I'd do anything I like? Just hope that I wouldn't be messing up the whole house again! Cuz is tiring to tidy up...
Oh yah... thanks tony for fetching us after movie and yea... bringing us to eat the nice prata @ bukit timah? Yea... thanks anyway...
Long enough, is time to mug again? Yea... hmm... anyway... I think he's gonna be back from thai soon, cuz his bro need to go school on wednesday? Guess so... so hopefully I won't be missing him so much and yar... everything gonna start afresh... friend 184...
Haish... kaizi so sorry for being so quiet last night, cuz was worrying for my dad's. And qin's... since when I shi lian le? Smack you... haha...
I hope I'll luv myself more
15:13
29 January 2006
I'm here once more @ 4:54PM i'm so rotted shit at home, eating and eating non-stop and I'm gonna slap myself if I'm gonna eat again cuz I'll really turn to a PIG!!! Shit... bloody shit me. Sewing my mouth up! Not gonna eat anything more from now onwards! Going to meet girls up @ 6.30pm @ JP 184 stand? Yea, then gonna buy I'm not stupid 2 tix fer 10pm show? Lol, don't know, later then see how? Hmm, I'm missing him again... missing this day:
010106
... cuz is the day you asked me to go home early cuz someone's missing me much2.
When will be my inbox, outbox, and call records be filled up with all your number? Never...
Gonna prepare...
:+: Updated @ 12:06PM :+:
Pass entries had been dreadfully bored? Haha... that shows that how boring I'm to stay alone at home with my piggy brother sleeping 24hours? Anyway, nothing much to blog today. Maybe I'm gonna start my day with housework??? But lazy to sweep and mop the floor either. SIGH, still have to do, cuz I prefer a cleaner environment. Hopefully evening girls are meeting me up, will this promise be kept? Don't know...
Hmm, he must be have landed thai now... hopefully he'd adapt to the weather there? The whole family must be having lots of fun. And yea... stand UP straight kkx? Gonna miss euu... wondering when will you be back and will you really call? Putting everything in to hope.
llA brand new me gonna wait for you and everything gonna be a new beginning, frenz 184ll
I hope I'll luv myself more
11:59
28 January 2006
:+:Updated at 11:39PM:+:
So on the plane le, asking me to guess which plane you board? Think you nothing to do that's why asked me to guess. Haha... lazy to crack my brain and you said SQ. Hmm, to me all the same what... bleahx. Heex... saying the toilet in the plane is so high class so enjoy washing your hand with the unclear water. Hahahaha... still used that to wash your face? Eeekkx... sucks... er xin gui! So had your swensen dinner, good sey... me also not bad hor, kor jio me to eat pizza. Haha... hey so when you gonna bring me go and eat sey? Will the day come? Pending norhx. Hmm... so unbearable to say goodbye to you when we gonna hand up. I miss your "wa lao" Haha... 3 times calling you without fail you'll say "wa lao" Haha... hmm... both of us so unbearable to hang up but also didn't know how to end the call? Yea... so I sae... "Hmm... emjoy, takecare..." for like 3 times then I finally say to you: "Wo hui xiang ni de" then what a reply from you: "Orh..." shy voice sey... haha... kk lah... making you pai sey? Haix... wondering when will you say you miss me? 170106 was the last sms you sent saying you miss me. So when the next day haa... gonna slp so tired after revision... missing you. Hopefully you've landed thai... and enjoy! heex... //wo xiang yen ni ~
:+:Updated @ 5:57PM:+:
So thrilled to see you online when it already 3:02PM when you gonna reach the airport by 4pm? Anyway nice shot of your new haircut, I shall find one time to upload it over here? Kidding kiddng. I guess you saw and you did said that you gonna call when you've the time while waiting for the flight. Hmm, and you really did... I'm really contended this time round. You sure that the taxi driver asked you to took more pix of yourself? Gosh... zi lian just say kkx? Heex... hmm... you're worried sick of your meow meow? Then you should have let me take care of him mah. Haha... anyway, if only you think it's gonna be safe to let him be with me bah righty? Hmm, you also say that you gonna see if thai there's a place to be online. Haa, hopefully yea? I'll be waiting... but can't possible to wait like this... gotta mug too right? You've been asking me to study hard so I'll... and now... right now I'm going to do revision le, gonna miss you. When will you say: "I miss you too?"... I shall not ask animore yar? Cuz I'm really awake, a brand new me gonna wait for you when you're back and everything's gonna be friend once more...
So I was wrong, you're already away? Or the wrong timing you've given me? Don't know. I dreamt of you once more and see how much I really misses you. Though is a kinda a nightmare to me, but still gonna share it out here. You called giving another hope in us, but I ruined it once more and we fought over the phone it hurts and that's when I really woke up???
I was so happy to receive your sms once more, so gotten a new hair cut? Hopefully it looks great on you. Weather over there's gonna be warm to kill you, so less heaty food more plain water. Take great care of yourself... gonna miss euu tons. Perhaps, I'm stupid to 've reminded you the past. Oh dear, I simply detest my stupidity. Nevermind, I shall SWEAR not to message you again no matter how much I miss you, how worried sick I'm and I couldn't let you know how silly I'm to torture myself in every ways I'd. S I G H... given up yar? I don't wanna my tears to roll down for you any more... is not worth... I don't blame you, I simply detest myself, my gullibity to have fallen your trap... I don't blame you cuz I once loved you... thanks thanks for being a passer-by too. Thanks lots...
New year, I'd not be happy at all. What called a reunion dinner when my parents, my brothers and sister are not going over to granny house? Every year I'm the representative of my house, what a shame to go there and collect red packets on behalf of brothers and sister, feel so thick-skinned. This year nothing surprising, they promised to go with me but see my elder brother is out of house since morning, second brother is sleeping after caming back from his bike test, and sister just called saying that she's not going with me anymore. What the FUCK!!!
Can't they be more sensible? Grand-daddy and granny are both old. Grand-dad wasn't in a very good health too, couldn't they just go to say a Happy New Year to them? Sigh, I really do not know what things are in their mind... could they share? And all thanks to dad, for telling uncle things that he shouldn't? Bloody shit... how am I gonna face so many relatives myself later on? Perhaps... I'm not going either...
Lefting with 11hours 10mins and you gonna be away, 'd I be the first to know when you came back? Everything was a question deep down my heart with no answer. As days passes by, I hope you haven't forgotten the short memories that we've got together? All the hangs out, each time was a precious moment to me. ~ x k c a u m s
My six sense tells me that you know everything and you've been visiting this bloggy, but you still didn't say anything other than her? Trying to be optimistic as I once promised you that I'll, but as days passes by, I realised that I still couldn't forget the past. As time flies, I hope time will heal the cut...
Haven't been eating proper meals other than cookies for the days. Parents are leaving to M'sia as early as 7 in the morning? I'm gonna be bored without mom for 1 week, miss her munchies ~ Advance lunar birthday wishes to daddy: "Thanks for bringing me up these 18 years, guess it must been hard for you. I've grown up with wings, independent to fly round the world. That's what you always love to say me each time I talk back to you. Sigh, you given me a red packet for me yesterday but nothing I've said? I'm so useless... I simple wanted to save my face? Gohs... I shouldn't be like this. Anyway dad... I hope your operation gonna be a safe one and you gonna feel loads more better after the operation. Hmm, hopefully in this year things flow smoothly for you and make you have a good health. Happy birthday... I'm sorries that I haven't do anything that makes you proud but things that brings you disgraces... I'm not a good daughter dad, please forgive me"
I m i ss e uu
I hope I'll luv myself more
04:40
27 January 2006
Mom was so early back home today, wah... it's only around 12pm? Anyway, have been chatting for 5hours? So rotted shit... I came across ones favourite quote: "Mens are evil, girls are stupid" Come on, let's admit this. Thanks for reminding me girl.
Tomorrow you gonna be away le, have a saf3 and pleas@nT trip. How many times that I've said this? Twice in msn, my sub nick cum here will be 4th time. No more I'm gonna say this. Forget the past, stand up once more and be the double A that I used to know shall you promise this? And took loads nicie pix of you n your family... too bad u've no mms, ar bo sure ask u to send me one everydae jux to let me know you're enjoying this trip...
Yea I know how to console others, but definitely not me. I just couldn't let go the past. All I'd do is to hide everything myself and just hope that I'd be strong once more. Okies, enough of all these... I'm gonna mug before chilling out @ PM with bunch of babes 2 9. Take kaiire everyone...
llCould you be calling me once more before you leave?ll
llI'm gonna miss euu, n I meant itll
ll'll miracle appear once more?ll
I d.o.u.b.t
I hope I'll luv myself more
17:19
26 January 2006
Back home from school, so tiring norhx, later gonna meet Jasmine to take my order from her. Hmm... actually elson asked me to accompany him go his company function, but I not free norhx, sorries... P.S
Tomorrow don't feel like going to school, but orh guess I'm gonna be dreadfully bored at home. Cuz there's a long holiday waiting for me and I shall really occupy myself with homework and revision... I don't wanna repeat any module and after CNY I S W E A R I really wanna go to school ON TIME 3v3rYd@e... !!!!
Mummy gonna be away for 1 week, 1 week is like so tough for me. Gotta help her do her gardening. Hahaha... if not her poor flower will be die of lacking water... haix... hopefully I remember, who cares to remind me? I'm lazy norhx... hahax
Update
Playfulness caused all these to happen? If you are really pissed off then a thousand of sorries to you. Called you to explain and apologies and you've got nothing else to say to me? Perhaps, I've been thinking too much, 've been too naive, too gullible and too stupidious. Whatever it's, you can forget what you've done, but definitely not me. Some words are better left unspoken. Walking back to home, reached home with mp playing "Mei you ni de mei yi tian" its end and here my pc continues with the same song. Days without you, happiness was so far away from me. When will my tears stop rolling for you?
I wanna once remind myself, not to be crown. Hanging on...
Lesser input = Greater outcome
Gosh, not 1, not 2, not 3 but 4kgS I've gained? Damn it, my tights are like a piggy mummy legs?
Went to bugis with kakis Hau's yesterday and bought a mini skirt and the mirror reflected pigs leg? Not even dare to look into the mirror... reflecting my gigantic tightS... Btw, the button dropped out, cuz I'm simply too fat to button. Kidding lah, still can turn rounds kies?
Diet-ing is not a good thing, lesser input = greater outcome. So girls out there, please don't torture youself cuz you'll be regret like what I'm now. Doing sit ups just to kill that 4kgS... but still I insist not to eat anything for like 2 days? I'm sure I'm gonna cut down, but also very certain that I'm gonna be more easily wore out. But what to do? Tomorrow going for a jog, 2 rounds. Haix... my CNY resolution is to maintain my *2kgs... but c... how heavy I'm now... gosh! Never will I cut down to *0... perhaps... only working life then I'll bahs...
Perhaps... for the past few days or even weeks I've been thinking of you too much, that's why I've lost my appetite. Staying late up during nights, I stuff myself with food when I'm famished and that's the consequences that I SHOULD really learn from it.
Gonna draw up my jian fei da ji hua tomorrow... looking forward to Friday, that's when I'd catch up with my bunch of ye mao zhi @ PM!!! Maybe starve for 2 daes and spoil myself wit a chicken mac on fridae 9? Girls, you'll see me bringing my own water bottle there again... heex... that's all. Good night... don't feel like going to school tomorrow...
I hope I'll luv myself more
01:14
25 January 2006
Hey guy sorries for being a crown last night, hopefully we didn't chatted anything that we shouldn't... yah... thanks guy I've been feeling loads more better
Actually didn't want to go school this morning, but promised kakis Hau's to help her carry those CNY cookies to school, so went together with her and yea... we took family pix again. Haa...
Didn't know why, you're in my mind the whole day. Going to school, coming back from school you're just constantly there. What to do? Tears couldn't stop rolling down my cheeks for you
Guess after been playing and fooling round for months, is time to be a mummy girl. Perhaps, there're really tons of things that I really wish to tell mom, just that I didn't know how should I start. Oh dear, forget it... even I've said, i've shared... she'll extactly understand what I want. So... ... ... Yep, just finish helping mom to trim eyebrow... nicie? Heex... so who's next? Haha... she nagged at me again? Guess so, saying I've grown up [glad she knows that] is time to learn how to cook, be independent and not having my butt on the chair infront of com for the whole day. Help out with housework a little too as days passing by, they're old. School wise, try to sleep early and wake up early, don't miss any lesson and study as hard as you could. Working isn't it... how true it's yah? But I simply loves working cuz get to know more friends? Heex... kkx... I know what's my friend gonna say me again. Haix... perhaps... my life has always been like this? I mean social life, more guy friends I had over than girls? Perhaps... guess is time to mug... bye...
Thought I've more to update, gosh... forgotten all, empty mind now. Haix...
Just a quick update before I went to bed for the day. Chinese New Year thinks everyone's going back to hometown? Guess so, me the only exception... hmm... thought of inviting friends over, who's gonna be my organiser? Btw, I'm not very certain that it gonna be fun... but I'm very certain that you guys are here to take care of me on behalf of my mummy! Muhahaha... she's gonna be away for 1week, how terrible it's gonna be for me? Perhaps, is really time to be independent.
Cousins all gonna miss me? Heex, especially my most clicked on well the biao di? Wondering how he's looking now, and how is he and his girlfriend. Miss him and little biao mei too, fantastic a sweeties... miss them yet refuse to go back cuz of the kampong life's? But I miss my shopping there. Hopefully mom 'd get something back for me? Wishful thought sey... never! Cuz she never know what I want.
Fridge filled full with beers and packed milo. I think for tonight I'd prefer beer? Just one can and it's not going to make me drunk, no worries friends. Take care...
Oh yah, later gonna be a chinese new year celebration during his lesson. Hmm, don't think I wanna go norhx. Maybe sleep till late wake up with revision? Perhaps, that's the way.
I hope I'll luv myself more
00:23
24 January 2006
Guess 3months 8daes has gone and I've seen and read all your msn nick. Thanks guy! You should know who you are? Here goes an entry for you...
You've been there for me when I really needed you, you're simply caring enough. It should be a kind of fortunate that we're still like these? Haa... perhaps... it's not the end, and it will never ever comes to an end to it. And that's not I wishes too.
Yep, "happiness" I've found, if things gonna be like what's going on now, that's gonna be good. Things getting pretty well at home, even those cold wars I had with my family for about a month has overcome it. Glad... except for study wise, gotta jia u a little bit. Wish me good luck in studies kies?
I no need any guy to play a role in my life any more, I wanna learn to be independent. =') [Smiling with tears... I shall be happygirl once more? Or APG even better right? Cuz that's the real me norhx.
Thanks guy, hope to receive your mail to keep me update and also drop me smses...
Have I been wrong? Or rather, what have I done wrong? You're being so sarcastic that's definitely hurts, no ones is at fault for all these happened. Perhaps, approach was once another wrong? I know what to do, perhaps... A.V.O.I.D would be good for both of us but you think that's the way? If you think it's, I shall not keep your contact... why torture myself, sigh... just cheer up... rmb, you say this once before ==> "I don't wanna anything more than frenz". Recall yourself, thanks ~
llNo ones 'd eva gif miie the happiness, cuz I'm difficult to be contendedll
I hope I'll luv myself more
19:10
Ur msn nick: "... standing very hard to stay still... but i'll be up 1 day" really cheered me up. Hey guy, that the way man! Come on, let's be optimistic together kies? Haha... I know you feel so werid of me saying: "Hey guy!". Sorries, that' me.
Mr Cheo's teaching is too tedious for me that I couldn't help pretending that I know everything and fall asleep in class. Sigh, feeling so helpless but I'll never approach him (Mr Cheo) cuz it just makes me more confuse with all the detailed explanation. Took a pretty long time to understand depreciation and disposal myself and finally I understood. Here comes another struggling, adjustments... I'm a 2 topics behind? Correction of errors... did I or didn't I learn during OS?
BCM tutorial class, never had I really making use of it... progression of e-tutor is less than 10%? WTD?
I'm feeling so light-headed, I really don't have the appetite eating anything could you all please leave me and let me rest? If really so worried that I'd die of hunger, then get some bread in the kitchen, i'll eat when I feel like. I"VE GROWN UP... urrggghhhh!
Pissed off... I thought I told you that I'm not feeling well when I reached home from school?!! You asked me what I wanna eat when I came out from batheroom? I told you I'm sick, I've no appetite for anything? You bought in kueh bolu and asked if I'm hungry, have it to fill my stomach? There you finally stopped, here comes dad... but just once he asked. [More to say about him in the next paragraph] there comes my elder brother? OH MY... ... ... don't think of getting anything that I loved to eat, cuz I've no appetite... and here comes my second brother, Mac, pizza? Gosh... thanks, but I really don't 've appetite, though pizza is really appeals me. And is you, MOM back to me again, asking me what I wanna eat again? Dear GOD, please help. Do they understand what is "Lost A.P.P.E.T.I.T.E?" Haix... how many times must I say mummy?!! Shutting my room door... much peaceful.
Dad haven't been talking to him for about a month and so he gotten his bonus and everything's back to normal? So good, I'm contended the way he's treating me now, care when I nds. Thanks! Second brother, the sucked up bloody shit attitude guy finally talked? Thanks goodness, if things gonna be like this forever... is enough... perhpas... this is the kind of life at home I really been wishing for?
Is enough, I'm too weak to type anymore, gonna rest. Actually wanted to blog an entry meant for you but mom forced me to blog more... sorries...
4months 10daes you're still counting, hope you'd be fine soon. Everything is so coincidence?
I hope I'll luv myself more
10:07
23 January 2006
Guess today I've been bad luck enough. Leaving home without bringing my wallet out, left it on the dining table. Realise only when I saw the bus came, walking back home to take. Not again, I couldn't find my ez-link card in the wallet? I have a strong urge of not going to school any more, but it was my presentation day, the last bach I must go, after haunting it in my pant pocket I ran down to the bus stop and the bus just went away? Chasing for the 2mins train that gonna arrive yet I heard: "The train arriving at platform A is not off passenger service" Immediately I feel like I was the fool of the day. Walked out of the tanah merah underground, bus 31 just left. Wait for a long time, finally I reached my presentation venue.
Postivie comment was given to me, though I did sense the nervous and shaky tone in my own voice. Perhaps due to all the distractions. He yawned when I'm presenting, what a lecture?!! Not even covering his mouth. So shit...
Having a urge to sms him this morning when train passes by outram park interchange, but I didn't thought I'd be disturbing him or come on, let's admit... I don't have the courage. Kakis YY told me that I'd thinking of you, beside me giving me the support and encourage. My eyes wetted up with tears... cuz I you once told me to think that you're always by my side. But do you mean it? If yes, could you please teach me how to lie to myself? Haix...
Before you gonna put urself away in your msn, I putted mine first. Sigh, when will you keep your promise to take good care of your ownself? Keep asking me to rest more but how about yourself? Sigh... Good luck for the mahjong game you gonna play later on. Told u that I've been thinking of you, you asked me to take a look at your friendster pix? Haix... the more I look the more I think of you. No matter what, the surrounding always reminds me of you. Thought CNY I'd invite you over or just chill out late night outside but you told me you're going to thailand? Then have a safe and pleasant trip, enjoy yourself with your family. You once said before: "What I want you'd give me" IF... I'm asking you not to go, will you? Oh dear, I can't be that selfish, sorries...
You miss mii, you mean it? But do you know... I miss twice as much as you misses mii?
I wish you'd have not seen all these, the fragile of mii.
Gonna work, I'm so deadbeat...
I hope I'll luv myself more
16:46
Is bedtime, meaning is time missing you. Are you feeling better? How 've you been, fine? Hopefully.
Went to meet good friend, Kelly @ JP to shop. So many clothes that I wanna buy but I'm broke wondering when will I get my pay for working at ryder's and the advance pay that I forked out. Thanks to uncle Toh who took the wrong pay and now I'm suffering.
Took bus to PM, just hang out at Mac drinking a medium cup of ice milo then accompanied her to draw money. Heex, is rare worx! Went into citibella spa asking the nail arts price but that girl is so damn sucked up? Not even bother to look at me when I asked her, S U C K S ~ Luckily I'm in the good mood if not the ice that I've been chewing in my mouth will be spill ON UR FACE!!! Count yourself lucky girl...
After which walks to GP to buy the card using to write point notes for my presentation script. Finally I've finish struggling with it, so tomorrow's my presentation day? Wish me good luck, hopefully he won't shoot me with question that I do not know how to answer norhx. Haha... erm... here putting an end, there another one pending... sianz 1/2.
Percie aiai... hopefully you feeling much more better after sharing out, thanks ~ lurfes you too...
Is bedtime, hopefully after another cries, I'd be fallen asleep soon. Don't wanna overslept any more... I've been slacking for too long is time to study!!! Kkx...
Missing euu everyday, everynight, every hour, every minute, every second...
Will there be another miracle that you'd be waking me up?
I hope I'll luv myself more
02:32
21 January 2006
Knowing you couldn't get over her, and suffering right now really makes my heart breaks. All I hope you'd do is to live strong as days passes by. Let time heal the deep cuts in your heart and not suffering like what you're now.
Life's so sucked up, missing you so greatly loving you so deeply knowing you still couldn't get over her after 4 months 8 days is so torturing to me. Ai hai tao tao is the best song to describe your current feeling for her... should I be feeling envious of her or should I be feeling jealous? Well, I don't know... getting jealous is definitely not me... felt so envious of her to have the chance playing a part in your life.
2 weeks ago you've been right beside me. At this hour, I still 'd remember it was raining cats and dogs you were hugging tightly to the bloaster, covering well with the blanket, seeing you sleeping so tightly was a relief. Continue with the ironing... time flies, waking you up for work feeling so unbearable... you held my hand... so stunned wishing that precious moment would just pause there for the entire life of our's. Those smses you sent to me that day really touched my heart, that's when I starts to fall deeper into your trap... after that day you called and sms me once you wake up asking: "What you doing" will there be any more time that you gonna spy on me like this?
Treat, present, having a chance listening to you singing ai hai tao tao for her will all these days come? I don't wanna any treat, don't wanna any present from you. You said before you'd give me anything I want form you. I'm telling you right now I want you to be by my side for 24hours sharing all your problems with me will you be able to give me? I hope I'd be contended by then. Will I? Ones never be contended, he/she often asks for more than what they've now sigh.
I miss you, but there's nothing I'd do. Hopefully you know my feeling for you, oh dear... I think you know then all I hoping for now is the appear of miracle or... the feeling to be faded away. Which is gonna be tough... when will you realise the person who has been worried sick and care for you, praying for you everyday, every hour, every minute, every second that you'd be fine?
I've never ever felt so torturing in life before. Hopefully one fine day I'd be saying: "Is enough" and when will I understand this --> What ever is meant to be ur's, is ur's? When when when? Who can tell me when will I stop being a saddix, a loser and a failure? Haixx...
One month since that incident... exactly one month...
Happy birthday to xiao may...
llMuch more behind the scenell
I hope I'll luv myself more
15:50
Chatted with you, can sense that you still loved her so much after 4 months 7 days. You've said that you couldn't hide the feeling any more, glad that you shared. Hmm, having a drink with friend? Also good at least numb le won't be thinking too much, but try to control your drinking scare you get drunked and fall sick once more... *Touch wood... enjoy yourself can le.
Hmm, is was a kind of luck that we're still friend at least I'd be there for you when you're feeling real down. No matter what happens, just wanna let you know I'm always here by your side, just a call and I'll right there for you...
Such a nice guy why didn't she know how to treasure him? Ai hai tao tao ~ is that song again... perhaps best describe this kind of situation bahs... don't know what exactly happened to both of you but just wanna let you know you've been a good guy all along... sigh..
No mood no appetite... I knew you couldn't live w/o food... suppering now? Wanted to blog out all my thoughts but moodless, sigh. Who's really there for mii? Seems like none... what to do? Life's so sucked up
Useless?
Seeing you suffering there isn't much thing I'd do to help even though I'm there for you, feeling out of a sudden so useless. But one thing I wanna say, no matter what I said you always everything also don't know... makes my mood even rotted. Treating you so good but what I get? Nothing but all these replies? Also don't know or rather what should I do to make you happy once more... I know is isn't easy to forget someone, don't say you... I myself already misses you like hell... beside e two of you've been together for years le... wanting to forget her is really tough... let time heal hao bu hao? You've been too honest... but I don't mind though it really hurts... but what to do? Who can tell me what to do?
Hopefully you're sleep well and covered well with blanket, rest well tomorrow gonna be a better day for you...
Wo ying gai zhe men ban? SHE - NI TAI CHENG SHI...
I hope I'll luv myself more
01:03
20 January 2006
"4 months 6 days pass... how are u? what can i do now..wanted to call u but your number change..i hate myself that i stop contact u and made myself suffer now..i don't wanna to live with regret, LING,i can't forget u,where r u...Meow Meow N i need u.."
Perhaps not going to school's a mistake, saw the shout-out posted by you really makes my heart breaks into pieces. BUT I knew, I knew all that... I could tell and you told. I've said: "I don't wanna you try to forget her neither do I want you to forget her cuz afterall you've been truly deeply loved her lots for years" saying with no regret, really no R.E.G.R.E.T
Sincerely praying that she's fine and hopefully she'd saw the shout-out you posted, contact you once more. Hopefully she'd come back to you soon, perhaps... both of you are just meant for one another? Praying hard that two of you'd meet up down the street one fine day... may god bless the two of you worx...
Could I be optimistic once more? Hopefully bah...
Hey girl, they need euu...
I hope for the momentarily moment we been together, you really took me as who I am. And I'm contended... promise mii, to take great care hao ma?
I miss euu munchies
I hope I'll luv myself more
13:15
Staying at home and be a slacker today, 1 month 3 days to my CA2 for IAC? Guess so, so from next week I shall swear to attend all lessons on time if not, I shall curse myself to fail all modules? Yah, that's the way... and having the 1.2K scholarship on my mind. I simply need some motivation
I hope I'll luv myself more
12:38
19 January 2006
Tiring day
In brief, I passed my taxation of a percentage of 70% pretty surprising but I know I'd 've done better... sigh
Mrs Tan has become more and more humurous, lesson has been pretty interesting and time flies fast, that's great! Those girls from UQ0504B is so damn e noisy... especially that girl who laughted so evil... dots... *speechless... luckily I'm in good mood or else I sure 've shouted at them, they've been too much... as if the whole classroom belongs to them. Such a good looking girl didn't know how to take great care of her figure, what a waste and now wanna spoil her own image? Haix... wasted wasted...
So tiring, later gonna work. Can don't work or not? Wahahaha... cannot!!! That's for sure. Bill for last month came, reached 110bucks which previously I can use to pay for 3 months... but now... haix... perhaps... I should try to control my smses bah... don't know. =) Luckily tomorrow lesson starts late cuz not my presenting day... yeah!
It has been lonely... S.I.L.E.N.T
llThe momentarily-moment we had is still in my mindll
llForgetting someone is toughll
Update
Guess today was the most enjoyable day of working? Haha... eating up all the samples. Haha... but everything so bland... sigh... bought my favourite mini shrimp roll worx! Haha... slurp slurp...
Guess tonight gonna turn in pretty late cuz my niece is sleeping with me norhx, so sianz... 360 degree turn... dotx... (o_oll)...
Hmm, that's about all... take care of my friends...
I hope I'll luv myself more
17:47
18 January 2006
Self reflect
Just woke up, yep... mummy bought me lunch cum dinner. Thanks thanks... a succulent meal though I can't feel the taste at all but the juicy juicy bite wow... is yummilious... So tonight they will be eating her oyster rice? Eek... the taste of dry oyster is so sucks! Thanks mummy... she seems to felt so stunned when I was helping her out at the kitchen just now bah... haha...
Haix... after so many things had been happening at home, is time to do a self-reflection. I know they care for me deep down in their heart, especially mom. Perhaps, for the past few months, she has been worrying over me. Skipping lessons just make her heartache, being rebellious is definitely not me but why am I like this? Just because I hate him? I don't know, ever since that day he caught me hanging out till dawn we haven't been even looking at one another at home. Haix... but if this is the way to keep things peacefully at home, I don't really mind actually. Haix... after CNY he would be going for operation... how are we going to be? Nuts nuts nuts... I'm getting nuts... Haix... worried sick...
Ok, is time to do project, shall update more tonight?
Update
Finally I'm done with my project, perhaps... need some editing to it. Hmm, gonna prepare notes for it too. Lighten my stress... =)
Ownself don't have eyes to see yourself then don't say miie showing you attitude. Or maybe you're just S T U P I D... no comments...
Also don't know what the problem with you, everytime me using computer you also wanna use. Everytime ask me lend you for awhile,but your awhile is like so damn e super long. Booking your lesson, checking your scores, can always do it when I finish using the com what. Why must you everytime comes here and kajiao miie? And now is your shit more important than my project? @#$%^&* feeling much more better thanks...
Bloody shit...
I hope I'll luv myself more
16:36
Blandness
Running nose, everything seems so blandly to me... lost appetite. *Sucks...
Get to know that there won't be any lesson tomorrow except for the adventure rope [S&W] @ 8am. Wish to go cuz of flying fox, rock climbing etc... but don't think all my kakis are going. So stay at home and sleep till noon bah... Wake up to do my homework and project till sleep again? Wa kao, what a boring day at home. *Yawn...
No one is stupid, the more you hurt yourself, the more I hated myself. If you're stupid, I think I'm even more stupidious than you... ... ...
Many friends I know are heartbroken now cuz they just broke off with their beloved ones. Or someone missing him/her so much as days passes by... I know this kind of feeling is really terrible cum horrible = cucumber... haha... I'm nuts, please pardon me... haix... what to do? Life's simply sucks... love is a big illusion... ya given miie the love I needed but leave miie wif a broken <3
So sorry for not being there for you cuz working. Hmm... always remember: "A champion is not someone who failed but someone whom doesn't quits". Always plan ahead and go only when you're fully prepared, always believe in hard work pays off and believing in miracle bahs... jia you worx... don't disappoint me hao bu hao? All the best...
I hope I'll luv myself more
00:28
17 January 2006
Madness
Is was like oh my goodness, I just woke up 1:32PM? What should I tell mom this time round what's the hell I'm doing here? Yesterday miss my solid taxation lesson and today I miss my solid taxation lecture, will I be extemped from exam? *Worried sick
Discovered one thing, ever since the second semester started, I only attend 4 days of school. It seems like I've been skipping Wednesday class every week, but guess tomorrow i'll be going due to the additional IAC class @ 4pm. Gonna be a long school day tomorrow... but not working, that's the only thing I'm happy about. But sad to say, I can't even rest cuz rushing for BCM project... DD: 230106
Good friend, Agnes met him 2 days ago... he lost his handphone that's why didn't keep in touch with me. I wonder did he receive my last sms? Hopefully he did... hmm... now couldn't reach him till he called me... wondering how is he now... hopefully he's fine bah. Hey girl [Agnes] we shall 've another outing right?!! Haha... perhaps that gonna be somewhere around Mar/Apr le bah... haix.. miss you good friend munchies... ~ Anything just pop me an e-mail kies?
If there's no possibility to be together, I wish to be independent. I'll never let anyone plays a part in my life until I've stablized my studies and career...
llMing zhi hui yi hui shang hai wei he hai yao cong yan?ll
I hope I'll luv myself more
13:30
16 January 2006
Super exhausted now...
Fragile
After school went to coslab with CH, then went straight home took a shower and went to work le. Sales pretty alright bah, cuz time seems to pass real fast. Hmm, so tiring now.
Empty brain, wednesday packed up with remedial class gonna reach home around 7pm. Wah... xiong... what to do? Exam coming... caught up with mild cold.
I've got many many things wanna update here... plenties of thoughts... but I'm tired to update. Sobbix...
Perhaps I've really hurted him deeply... is there a way to rewind time back?
llMing zhi hui yi hui shang hai wei he hai yao cong yan?ll
I hope I'll luv myself more
23:36
15 January 2006
Plenties of thoughts
I felt the atmosphere of CNY but I'm not getting thrilled at all. Mom was asking to me go back M'sia with them but I doubt I'm going back, cuz it gonna be damn bored! In addition to that, I'm gonna bite by mosquitos, no heater, leaky roof when the rain drips in when you're sleeping soundly, such a kampong life's definitely out for me now...
Sigh... saw jie jie bought so many nice nice shirts for CNY yet I don't even have a single piece of new clothes, sob sob ='( haix... what to do, running out of money is like that. But nevermind, =D since I'm not going any where too. Perhaps on my birthday then buy tons of new clothes bahx...
Now thinking of way to pay my own bills... the coming pay is for my 2 bills but how about my concession pass for next month??? Haix... nevermind, think again some other time. Thought of wanting to buy mummy CNY cookies... but don't know what she likes... if bring her go and buy, she definitely will pay for it de... hump =( so contradicted. Melting almond, mini shrimp roll tag along with rou gan for mummi? Also get her my favourite melting cheese pineapple tart? Yea... that's the way man!!! Haix... actually also liked hazelnut blackcurrent cookies and casava cookies de nehx, but orh... on diet man! So cannot buy so many worx... if not sure put on weights.
Haix, she's not going to work at Ryder with me at more, means I'm gonna be damn bored. Hmm, hiding the at the stairs again? Oh dear, gosh... no way man. Perhaps, I also don't wanna work there le, maybe end of this month, cuz in needs of money. Come to think of it, actually I've money de... but at kor's there... wondering when will he returns me back, haix...
Hmm, running out of money... yea... so is time to buck up and study hard and aim for schorlarship? 1.2K man!!! *Big E Y E S* I'm sure I'm gonna be motivated by that. Is not easy to get that, but is possible if I work extremely hard yar? Haix... jia you le, cheering myself on.
I'm not gonna miss any more lesson from tomorrow's onwards. This my promise to mom =/... she just warned me... haha... kena caught le... but of cuz I find an excuse to save myself from her nagging and before dad's ask me why. Ran away this time round, count myself lucky?
Wondering will we be getting back our CA1 tax mark tomorrow morning or not, wish me good luck worx. Don't expect high marks lah, but just pass... ? Possible... don't know... haix...
Plenties of thoughts sey... worried...
Gonna work from Monday to Friday... weekend gonna rush my project, monday presentation. Haix... endlessly work I hate the most...
I hope I'll luv myself more
20:22
14 January 2006
Finally I'm back, one day of not blogging is like wanting my life. Hmm, have been away to be a private nurse... he's sick, hopefully he's feeling slightly better.
If he's at my house, I sure make him wear 2 clothes cover him with blanket, using a wet face towel to put on top of his forehead, making a cup of gan mao cha, feed him with 3 well-balanced meals and feed him with his med every 8 hours... no matter what time it gonna be. Taking his temperature every hour... but too bad... he's not at my house...
Sick b'cuz that day we walked in the rain, drink after a few days till drunk? Mild sickness didn't take good care and that's why you're feeling so damn sick and weak, don't even have e strength to walk? Haix... better take good care of yourself norhx... miss ya ~
Actually wanted to leave at 6pm when I was asking for a towel from his mom, then just any how ask if she have taken her dinner. Guess what?!! She said his dad company's has a company dinner at night... then I went (o_oll) Huh?!! *Stunned... then also very worried for him, that's why stayed a little longer...
Haix.. hopefully this lazy bum will take great care of himself and stop making me so worried sick for him hao ma?
Dearest mummi xiao yi... please take good care of yourself too... ok? Anything not feeling very well can always sms / call me and I'll be your private nurse too... miss ya mummi ~ ~ ~
Sincerely praying that they would recover soon...
llHow much do I weights in your heartll
I hope I'll luv myself more
22:12
13 January 2006
*BIG SIGH...
Overslept this morning, wondering how was the IAC Class Test. Slept till 2pm plus then wake up wash up go take CNY home-made samples from Jas @ JP. Reach home, haha... busying sampling... not too bad. =) *Full
Not feeling very well, asked her to take over me she also don't wanna. Also don't know what she's packed full with. Sigh... this whole week 've been working like hell, when can I take a break? *Sigh... Why am I feeling a temptation to say this to her => "Iya you everytime also busy de lah, also don't know what you're really packed full with? Work a few days might as well don't work. Think only yourself are busy and tired arh? Fuck off LAH!!!" But I'm glad I didn't send it to her when finished typing the message... if not thing gonna be a big mess! *Cooling down...
Sigh... I mean I also have homework, project, test and CA what... why can't she be more understanding? Was it my misforture to know her? Haix... drop it... not gonna sae much...
Hmm... so later will be working then go home shower le, see if I'd sneak out to find him. I wish I'd leave at 9.30... possible?
Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I saw him since the day I saw Edward, each time I saw him I'd get so stunned out. Luckily my reaction is fast enough... if not guess yesterday night he really gonna send me home, it was kinda a reliefs. Hmm... hopefully today I'm working at the outlet... it seems that outlet sales is much more better than kiosk...
I hope I'll luv myself more
15:35
12 January 2006
Heartbroken
Work sucks
Yesterday finished work at 10pm, which I didn't expect to be so early, glad =). But settle down for taxation revision at only 1am? Revised till 3am plus still nothing went into my head, so I went to rest till 3.40am ++ still awake, sigh...
Today CA1, real sucks up... totally don't know how to do. Haix... I've been slacker for too long. Am I really that tiring? Well, I do not know.
I'm so heartbroken now...
You called to wake me up this morning, telling me that you're sick. *BIG SIGH. You told me you were running fever since 4am plus but not dare to go rest cuz you scare you couldn't be able to wake me up on time? Haix.. why are you so silly nehx? *Heartaching... You know you're making me so worried sick for you, my mind's in a mess: "Go school" / "Go find you". In the end I choose to go school, cuz I really do not know what time my exam starts, just playing safe. Haix... the whole in school having you in my mind, wondering have your fever gone, have you taken your meal and medicine... haix... like this kind of weather lah, the consequences... ask you wear more clothes you also don't want, sturborn... haix... sick le I also can't go take care of you, I'm just so useless... haix... work work work, why am I packed full with all that? I'm so sick and tiring. How I wish I'm by your side right now... haix...
I hope I'll luv myself more
17:48
11 January 2006
Sigh...
Wanted you to enjoy yourself when you hangs out with your friends but instead you guys get drunk? Oh my goodness, you're getting me on my nerve! *Like a cat on hot brick... how I wish I'd clear off from workplace and go find you, you're making me worried sick you know?
What you've said, I knew all that. Just give me a little more time is that okay with you? I really need to think over it... gonna give a deep thought... sigh.
Guess this whole week gonna be busying working and earning money. Gonna be a tiring week, so fast 10 days of 2006 has passed, I live as the day passes so meaninglessly, what a waste.
llI need plenties of rest, exhaustedll
-Thought that no ones we knew know about us, didn't expected you to 've told her, rather surprising =) Hopefully you're feeling lots more better, sms me when you woke up okies? Miss ya...
I hope I'll luv myself more
08:50
10 January 2006
Thank you munchies ~
Blur me, how could I forget the call he given me yesterday? I'll never forget! I'm gonna say thank munchies to him if not I'm sure I'm gonna slept the whole night. Wah... I feel so touched you know? Really thanks so so so much for waking me up if not I guess I'm gonna be late for the first day of work, wahahaha... xie xie ni, ai si ni le... haha... *Ok, I'm nuts* And also thanks for chatting with me when I'm on my way to work... haix... feel so lucky that there's someone at least whom remember that I'm working among so many people that I've told. Haix... thanks thanks thanks a trillion worx!
Feeling so much better after 14hours of sleep. Wondering will May be calling us, if she's not calling then I'm dead cuz that day she was the one who asked us to stand by so I pushed off my promoter job for today. But if she didn't call also good, cuz I still have tons of homework left to do, sigh... Thursday gonna be my taxation CA1, I'm kinda worry about it.
Things are getting pretty well for me, but not him. Hmm... what can I do to help? Kakis YY, hope she's fine too. Yea, her promise to think of miie 24/7 right? Wahahahaha... hey, let's buck up together and motivate one another hao ma?
Guess that's about all for the moment. Gotta go and do my IAC homework le. Hmm, hopefully you're slept well and covered with blanket. Still could remember the cutie look of you when you're sleeping... missin euu... =)
Weather are getting more and more cold each day, haix... my hands get numb more easily. Haix...
llTime to crack brain =)ll
I hope I'll luv myself more
15:00
09 January 2006
Wrong schedule of the week
BEST! I overslept once more, idiot right? If I going to prepare now, I'm sure gonna be late for an hour of BCM so might as well don't go right? I know he's really disappointed with my attendance, I also didn't know why I become like this. Was I really too tired or was it discipline that matters? I think I planned the wrong schedule for this week, *yawn. Is the beginning of the week and I started off with the wrong schedule really can go bang the wall le, aarrrgggghhhhh... ... ... !!!
What can I do to reschedule it? It's gonna be tough, sigh... forget it. I just hope that I'd pull through this month. Friend, I need some motivation in my studies... or else, I really can be prepared to flunk my coming exam some where around Mar... kao, pissed off with myself ~
So leaving home for school @ 11.30am for last 2 periods, IAC class. Hopefully he teach something k? Or else, I'll be regret sia... haix haix haix...
Working today, gonna be a tiring day... that's for sure. And yar, sorry to people who gets worried sick of me... p.s.
llI need some motivation in my studiesll
Self declare?
Just received a call from kakis that Mr Hari is not there today, so all went back home after elective class. No ones is staying for IAC lesson so we think that Mr Cheo's gonna re-teach everything on wednesday bahs... hopefully.
Kinda good also, at least I can do my Q5 & Q6 later and catch some sleep later in the afternoon before work. Like that, I won't be so tired mah... glad =)
Hmm, going off to take my notes and homework from kakis Hau's le... weather sucks, take care everyone.
llTime to buck up, jia youll
Is raining cats and dogs earlier on, and I was in my two minds whether to bring in the clothes or not. So yea... I did. But I knew she gonna nags at me for bringing in clothes which are not totally dried, so I flip the clothes and hangs out again, hopefully she won't nags at me please. My head is in real pain, feeling so giddy... gastric pain too. So mom, please!!! I really appreaciate lots kies?
Sigh... I'm simply useless couldn't get started with my homework and later going to work, wondering how am I going to survive. Hais...
llFeeling giddy, gastric in great painll
Back from work
Just settle down since cam back from work, is tiring. Hmm... kinda regret of requesting to work kiosk, cuz closed at 10.30... but pretty lax lah... the half an hour, keep and tidy up nia. Saw Edward today think with his girlfriend? Wahahaha... erm... so suay, kena mocked by him.
Edward: "Working arh"?
Me: "Yah"
Edward: "Never go and find him"
Me: "You also know arh? Wah lao..."
Kao... also didn't know how many person he tells, sianz... Edward sure tell him that I'm working over there de, then he sure come and find me, haix... better don't come or else, I whack him sey...
Okay, guess that's about all, gonna sleep... someone's going nuts... sigh...
llFeeling so tiredll
I hope I'll luv myself more
09:28
08 January 2006
Self reflect
I'm deadbeat, these few days only been sleeping for a few hours like 3 hours the most? Have been suffering from insomnia so hangs out late at night, only reached home in the morning. Dad, I really do not know what's the matter with him. That warning he given to me, really hurts me. One thing that I wanna tell him: "I've already grown up, 18years old... I'm no longer a kid. I know you're worried sick for me but I'm sensible enough that I know what I'm doing. Sorry to have made you worried for me."
Sigh, they are getting old and their health's weren't in a good condition too. There's nothing much I could do to help, just to promise them to study hard and take good care of myself. "Kindness doesn't pays off"? Sorry brother... I knew you were pissed once again 'cuz of my attitude. Sigh... I'm simply useless... *Communication breakdown*
Guess I'm gonna rest for a few hours later in the afternoon gonna do my homework and revision for taxation, CA1 is coming this Thursday, worried. Evening meeting Arnold and Kelly out for pizza dinner... cool... loving it! Signing off saying good night is really weird. So morning everyone who're reading my blogs. Going to sleep... finally ~
llI'm drowning, suffocatingll
New update
Is raining cats and dogs the whole day, my back is aching and my hands get numb more easily. I'm freezing no matter how many clothes I overlapped.
Is 5:10pm a little more while guess I'm going to get started with my IAC homework and look through my taxation paper, sigh... CA1 on Thursday, hopefully it's not too tough.
Wondering is Arnold still sleeping, cuz meeting him and Kelly for dinner @ PM.
llI'm freezedll
llDrowning, suffocatingll
New update
Guess what?!! I saw him when I took bus to PM, he saw me too. Haix, but he's boarding the bus and I'm alighting the bus. Why? Haix... but I believe we'd see each other again soon.
2 small pan pizzas n garlic breads with drumplets and wings, only the 3 of us, we're so full. Hmm... didn't manage to finish up all, hopefully we'd break the record arh? Hahas... yea hope to see you guys real soon!!! Our promise to eat once in a month yar? Don't break the promise worx!
Wanting to use the computer also got fault? He was just waiting for the result to be out and placing the bet later what, so why can't he lend the com to me for just awhile? Sigh, speechless...
llIs all fated and destinated or are we making it to be fated and destinatedll
llWho can tell miie?ll
I hope I'll luv myself more
07:18
07 January 2006
Things are getting well =)
Meet you at JP, saw your heartbreaking look, sigh. One thing I wanna tell you, that is: "A champion's not someone who failed but someone who doesn't quits". Understand?
Your tattoo is cool, but no more okay? One is nice more than that's complicated, and sucks! Promise just one okay?
Cool, sleeping soundly arh... glad. Asked you to wake up but you were like so lazy arh. Haha, whack you then you know. Hmm... mom just any how cooked cuz she didn't know that there'll be guest here, so just hope that it suits your taste and you had your dinner full. Haha... we're rushing like hell, end up we reached there with no single soul that we know so went to ma-ma shop and grabbed some sweeties arh? Hahax... then yea, you're off and I'm home. Wow, whole day didn't sleep since yesterday work didn't really have a good rest/sleep... so xiong. Later going to meet friends again, if not next time no more time lers... haix... busy... getting busier.
Enjoy having such a great time with you, especially when we're watching the Ru Hua VCD... the way you laughted, is funni... =D
Hopefully you enjoy working, miss euu, that's for sure. And guess my heart felt so pain when I knew you fell off from bike, promise to be more careful okay? If you need me to accompany you for check-up, sms/call me okay? Its hurt
Finally thanks for your calls and smses to accompany me at least not feeling so lonely last night, thank you and buddy!
I hope I'll luv myself more
16:59
06 January 2006
Working work
Tiring
Finally she called me back again, gosh, iish realli F I N A L L Y! The day that I've been waiting for few weeks, hahax. Yea, I enjoy working there but it's gonna be bored if she didn't call my friend to work. Haix... feel so extra if I join their table. Haix... it's gonna be a boring day working there, I feel so left out of a sudden...
Glad... I'm gonna be rich once more... haha...
I had enough of games
I'm scared
I had enough of games, and I'm sick and tired of all these again. I think we had been understand one and other too well that you should know I still couldn't forget him but why things still turns out like this? Sigh... is god gonna be contended to see me suffering?
Is fun being together but I'm really sorry that I didn't have any feeling for you. So please stop out of the blue grab my hands cuz I'll think u're nuts. So what if we really has so many things in common? If you thinks that you're able to make me fall for you, then go ahead and try your luck, is not easy. But one thing, I'm glad is what you've said: "If one day you're my gf, I'm sure I won't fool around already. But too bad your heart already with someone else and wish the two of you'd be together one day". Thanks! I'll never forget what you've said...
I knew I disappointed you when you called this morning. Perhaps, I really misses him so much, so I thought he was the one calling me, sorry!
And yar, I've given to him but your's still with me really wondering when we'd be meeting up... sigh...
Didn't went to school again simple cuz of I'm tired! Wondering how's buddy surviving there...
How I wish the person doting me that much is you...
I hope I'll luv myself more
11:34
05 January 2006
Is nice to meet up just like this evening
It was raining cats and dogs when I was passing my Na's punch card to Terrace's at JP taxi stand.
After which, I went to get something for you and yea you reached in a short while. Hmm, passed you the gift and you said you didn't wants it then I said nevermind, throw it away. You grabbed my hand and said: "No" and asked me to hold it for you... at least you're still not heartless
You want to eat Long John but I told you that I don't like but still I accompanied you there and really there isn't any seat for us, hahax... yea... I'm always your ke xin... so we went down to the foodcourt and you ordered drink for me, thanks lotta! Hmm, you said it was the second times that I looking at you eating. But after awhile, you corrected and said it was the third times... cuz that day don't know which stupid didn't want to it. Caused me to ate up 2 plates. Hmm, yar... I'm stupid...
After which went to find your friend, nice knowing her. Haha... then we accompained her to eat right? Nice friend... hope to know more about her... next time hang out together once more kies?
Walked to the pet shop, you saw a dog costing 1.7K you seems to like it so much, cuz it seems nice to be fooled by you, poor thing...
Very soon, you accompained me to wait for bus... finally the bus reached. You asked me not to miss you and I said: "Yea, I'll not miss you but my homework" and you looked sad. I know that's you...
It's nice hanging out like this evening as friend, walking here and there without knowing where's the next destination we're going to. I'll never miss you any more, haha... a memorable evening with you, the hungry monster! Hey, promise to have a balanced meal and not eat as and when you like, like that will easier grow plump and by that time, no girl will like you already kies? Hmm, the most important thing is I care for you, you know it will lead to gastric pain? I don't wish to see you suffering the pain. Once more, good luck for your licence... may your wish come true soon.
Haix... if we really been together, I promise i'll get that for you once you gotten your licence. Guests out here reading don't think wrongly, I'm not that wealthy to buy him a bike k? Hahax...
But I know it's impossible, cuz I've discovered that we've too many uncommon things le... and we're both so sturborn, no ones is going to give in right? Haix...
Don't know buddy is meeting me out later or not. I'm so tired, and sleepy. Haha... but is okay if he needs accompaniment. I'm always there for him 24/7 too... buddie ever, 184 the brother and sister! Hmm... luckily tomorrow having 4 lessons like that? Guess so bahs...
I hope I'll luv myself more
20:45
04 January 2006
Skipped school
Feeling better
Slept the whole morning and I felt much more better. So friends, don't worry for me. Tons of homework, really going to get started. Tomorrow is kakis Hau's birthday, here sincerely wanna say sorries to her and wish her 've the most memorable 18th birthday with us. Happy Birthday in Advance... muacks ~ Birthday kiss worx... grab it.
May she recovered, haix... she's real sick right now. Felt so sorries...
You called
But why?
Is only a question asking "who are you" as I just hung up the first call and picked up ur's. And you were like so ... ... ... sigh. You called me asking where am I, cares to meet out. I really wanted but why... why must be always be like this? Sigh...
You always appear when I'm about to forget you, sigh... how am I going to forget you like this?
I sincerely wish that you'd sms me everyday asking how am I doing, keeps me updated what's going on with you hao bu hao? I really misses you... please stop torturing miie lers... have a good rest and take good care of yourself kies?
Part II of the previsou MV
Thing seems to be fine now... hope that we'd be happily chatting like this 184...
Friend out here, this is another MV he linked to me, part II of the previous MV... check it out...
Enjoy
I hope I'll luv myself more
03:19
Our memories... [Updated on 270206]
You've been thinking that I must be thinking that our r'ship won't last but are you aware that I'm thinking that you must be thinking that our r'ship won't last? We doubts one another and that's why we're putting an end to it.
Actually I know how's the outcome gonna be after sending you an e-mail last night, staying awake till morning, my mind was full of you. Still holding high hopes in us beliving in miracle will appear once more in my entire life.
We know we really liked one another but couldn't be together is all fated and destinated? Or are we making it to be fated and destinated?
It was just a short period of time we get to know one another and the click was like so well clicked up. We hangs out together having lot of funs and great time together. That call you called during break time crapping with me or are you serious, I'm totally surprised! You once asked me if you manage to be with me, then must you quit smoking? That's the greatest sacrification. That time, I'm sure I haven't fallen into your trap yet so I just asked you to stop kidding, it's not funny. You sighed, I heard that and very soon we hanged up the call. I was thinking of what you said the whole night. 111205-you told me that you feel like taking up the challenge. 131205-I'm sorries that I've hurted you and that's when I started to fall into your trap. 201205-We drink together, are you drunk? I'm certain I'm not. The happiest moment we had together. 211205-I'll never forgets how the aunty laughted at us when placing our order. She was like so confused who to listen to. And BEST... you won the fight... missing that moment arguing with you. Reached home and we're both online you thought that I'm your's as you sensed that I liked you and yea, you grabbed the chance but still I couldn't commit myself into this r'ship, sorries. Sigh, you thought we gonna be together but again I was contradicted and confused and that's it, you waited once again for me. 010106-You mocked at me... hmph =( Saying me good to be bullied? Whack you then you know. I confessed and you said something could be done, but what can we do? There's a great disappointment... right? The video clip you've shared with me, is nice and I thought we'd be like them, hinted. Finally you said let's be together, don't say anymore, let's be together. I don't why am I so idiot, so emotional, rejected once more and that's it no more that you gonna ask me that question. You've been hurted too deeply, I'm sorries... but if you gonna ask me once more, I'm certain if you gonna ask that again my answer 'd be different... 050106 We meet up @ JP bought you some treat looking at you dining for the 2nd time, the way you eat is really terrible. 070106 We meet up once more, saw your heartbreaking heart makes mii feel so heartached. You came over, so memorable... watching Ruhua show with you after which you were asleep and I'm away to wash and iron clothe. Waking you up at exactly 6:45PM... looking at you, so sweetly asleep, unbearable to wake you up, but I've to. Mom prepared dinner for us, and you told me egg is your favourite. Grabbed you fish, and you grabbe miie with egg? Wah, touched. Asked you to sit down and wear your shoes, but you were like so sturborn? Haix... then walked to take bus 242? Guess so... perhaps we reached too early, went to mama shop and grabbed some sweeties... and very soon, the bus came. You sms me saying thanks to me, and you feel another home at my house. Asking me to take care on my way home, so sweet of you. First time you said you were touched... I felt so stunned out of a sudden. 090106 - Thinking of miie? You get worried sick for miie? Heart pain? Always think you're beside me? 100106 - The call ya given to mii, wah... realli can't stop helping saying lurfes you so much. Is my first day of work, all thanks for your call! Thanks munchies. 110106 - You were drunk and you're getting on my nerve. I felt so worried sick for you and have a urge to leave the workplace. You called admitted that you misses her but at the same time you wish to be with miie. Is that truth? 120106 - The sms hugs... 130106 - Finally you wakes me up on time, but telling me you were sick. I gets so worried sick again having a urge to go find you but I'm having taxation CA. Feeling so sorries for not being by your side when you were sick. 140106 - I'm your private nurse... sigh... my present doesn't improve your sickness much. The last day we met one another. 170106 - You said you'd treat mii dinner and get mii a present? When will that day come? 180106 - The last sms I received from you... 200106 - I'm missin euu right now... praying for you she'll be back to your side real soon. 210106 we chatted once more in msn, chattin about her, finally you admit, you still miss and loved her... you couldn't hide your feeling anymore... 230106 - It has been a long time since you last said you miss me le. You said you gonna call me the next day once you wake up, but you didn't. 250106 - Perhaps, she's the one who make you stand still? 260106 - Felt so envious of her. Guess u're too agitated that why u said that about her in msn. 270106 - You asked me to sms you when I'm free... but why can't u? 280106 - The day you're leaving singapore and going to thai. I guess you saw my blog, my msn nick that I wanted you to call and you did. It has been a long time since we chatted on the phone and yea... I misses you "wa lao" haa... 310106 - You're back from thai! I misses you so terrible everytime w/o you here in s'pore. But you bought back some sickness too. You tagged on my tagboard saying you miss me. Finally ~ 020106 - You called me @ 12:39AM reminds me the first time u called me... sigh... didn't manage to chat with you for long cuz was doing revision. Wanted to sms you before turning in, asking you to go back home early like what you sent me on 010106. 040206 - Tagboard msg: Telling me that your sickness gonna recover in no time and asked me to take care. Glad that you know that we haven't been chatting in msn for a long time le. Hmm... perhaps... wrong timing bah. 050206 - My hand was numb last night, reminds me of that night you rubbed it for me. Haix... perhaps... I still couldn't forget you bah... I wanna let you I miss you... and I still loved you... perhaps... he's correct bah? 080206 - U smsed to ask me call u back cuz u were outside fishing with your friend at late hours... dotx. 090206 - You told me I must wake up to school, no matter how. 100206 - You said u miss me, you mean it? 150206 - I was outside and u smsed me when u online. 150206 - You asked me no school in msn. Haa... "Dont tell me todae is an off dae after valentine's dae." And you new I was sick cuz of my auto-msg. Asking me "This time need me to take care of you" I was touched Haix... I wish... really wish.. lil' quarrel. Wondering why u didn't u sms or call me because of jealous. U said you'll tell me when time ripped. Sigh, when will that day come? Thinking. Hmm, at night, was a long chat maybe cuz u were sad. Haa, hopefully after the chat cheered you up. Hmm, the online reward, kiss. Haa... 170206 - U smsed saying you haven't sleep and was working at ur uncle place while I was at creative with Bernice, Qin n kel. You called at 1537 time when I'm having lunch with em @ pizza hut. You said you know that I cares for you alot alot, you really know? First time you asked how was my school. Get to know your fav drink is sugar cane with lemon. 200206 - We contacted once more, sms ended @ 2310. You given me a sweet warm kiss in msn? Kissing me the way I care for you. Wah, gonna be memorable if this's gonna be a sms kiss. Haa... you said you miss me too. 190206 - You said 66 sorries to me when you forgotten when's my birthday. 210206 - YOu asked me to study hard and make it to poly next year. Telling you that I'm going for a job and you said that I'm not fat? Dotx... only fat ppl need to exercise mehx? Haa... 210206 - Scared off by my question [Why so good to me?] You said every exam I must work hard. That's the day I realised that I've slacked too much, thanks for reminding me. You did the application and you said you hope to get into NYP as it's not that far. But if get into RP you will find me after your school, you meant it? 220206 - Morning call from you when I didn't expect. Thanks. 230206 - My IAC CA2 exam, 14 miss calls from you as I was showering. Sorry to make you worried and scared. Dui bu qi. The first voicemail you leave in my mailbox. Haa... saying: "... zhu arh? Qi lai liao lah... " The last sms I received from you. 240206 - I've been to smoking partly cuz of you. You know? You don't even care. Haix. 250206 - The last msn chat.
Did you know I once told my buddy that my S&A status is only opens to you. And he said that, that guy I've been waiting for is so xing fu... ... ... but it seems like you've enough of patience waiting for me and totally given up? Still could remember that night you smsed asking me have I taken my dinner and i replied nope, you were like really wanting to buy dinner and send to my doorsteps like that, wow... if you really did, I think I'm gonna faint. Haix... but all these gonna be history lers...
I admit... tears rolled down my cheek when sharing with buddy our problem. But what to do, you think I really wanna cries for you? Wishful thoughts lor, its rolled down itself though I had already tried to be strong and hold back the tears. Hmm, all I'm asking for now is 184 de friend. KIT okay ?
Sleepy... homework none I've touched. If my eyes really swollen think I'm not going to school cuz buddy sure laugh at me de. Haha... that's all bahs... I'm missing euu right as a frenz...
I hope I'll luv myself more
01:24
